I was in the 10th grade when I read Of Mice and Men. I had gotten behind on the reading track, but as English was (and is) my favorite subject, I determined to finish it before class. I picked up my softly worn copy,  curved the cover around the spine to fit nicely in my hand, and I slunk down into my chair at the back of my Algebra 2 classroom. Out of the line of site of my tiny red-headed teacher, I read on uninterrupted.

I flipped through the pages, reading faster as I neared the end the end of the book and the class period. I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach as I realized where it was heading. I so desperately wanted a happy ending. Oh, Lennie. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I turned the last pages, finishing the book brokenhearted. Darn you, Steinbeck. If I’d have written the story, Lennie would have had his farm and rabbits, far away from people who could hurt him.

But I didn’t write Of Mice and Men, and I’m not a great plot writer to begin with. The drama, intrigue, conflict, all the things that suck you into a book and keep the pages turning don’t come naturally to me. My plot line is more like, boy meets girl, falls in love, has a family and successful job, lives happily ever after, the end. It’s not quite the page turner book publishers are looking for, and they’re not looking for it because no one lives it. As beautiful as it sounds, as much as we all want that story, it’s too simplistic, too idealistic; it’s not real.

I’ve had lots of different plans for my life, starting all the way from my childhood when I was going to be a ballerina/ninja/mom. Then it was a vet, a doctor, a teacher, and a librarian. I’ve gotten some degrees in pursuit of that last dream, but with both of my degrees, I haven’t yet had a chance to put them to use. As a military wife, I’ve made plans about where we’ll move and what life will be like, only to have the rug pulled out from under me.

Heck, just my plans for today got pulled out from under me. I was supposed to be on a flight to surprise my mom. I had crafted weeks worth of lies to throw her off the scent and ensure that she would have no idea, only to arrive at the airport, baby and carseat in tow, and be told that the flight had just been cancelled. I’m laying here snuggling said baby when I should be flying, and tomorrow when I should have been sleeping, I’ll be rousing the baby to fly. The best laid plans of mice and men...

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the purpose of the LORD will prevail. Proverbs 19:21

I have my plans. I know how I would write my day. I know how I would write my family’s life if it was all up to me. Flights would be on time, children would all be healthy, the military would always adhere to my moving plans, kids would be cooperative, and money would be abundant and paychecks on time. Do you notice that there wouldn’t be any strife? No financial woes, no marriage struggles, no temper tantrums, just smooth sailing. And no chance for growth. No strain of new muscles gaining patience, no mental battle of persistence in creating a loving marriage, no faith stretching into trust. Without challenge there isn’t growth.

When I stop and look at my life, I’m not where I thought I would be. So when someone asks me where I see myself 10 years from now, I’ve got no clue. My 21 year old self couldn’t have envisioned this, and my 31 year old self has no idea what the future holds. But I know that today, God didn’t want me on that airplane. I know that when we move it’s for a purpose, but when we stay, it’s also for a purpose. I know more hard things will come our way, it’s guaranteed, c’est la vie. I’ll just take it one step at a time, and stick to reading fiction with sunshine, rainbows, and happy endings.

“I don’t know what the future holds, but I know You’re my future.”– Switchfoot

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

However as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived- the things God has prepared for those who love him.’ 1 Corinthians 2:9