Sunshine & Rainbows

Life is sunshine and rainbows.

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Is this not the cutest pouty face ever?

Stick with me here. No, our life isn’t easy living all the time. In fact, it’s often hard, most days are exhausting, and some days are even brutal. Some days we just survive. 5 months with a beautiful baby whose only vocalizations have been crying or fussing is extremely trying. Parenting an independent and stubborn toddler is trying. Teaching and molding a boundary learning [pushing] preschooler is trying. It’s the season of life we are in. There are days that end with John and I flopped on the couch, mindlessly doing anything on our phones to try and decompress from the day. There are also occasions where we sit down together and talk and cry over our frustrations and failures and the guilt and grief and mashed up emotions that roll around in our hearts and minds. This is complex.

IMG_8159But it’s still sunshine and rainbows. Because really, when you think about it, the rainbow comes after the rain and the storm. The sunshine is more brilliant, vivid, and hopeful when it breaks through dark clouds. We live in both storms and shadows, sunshine and rainbows. The storms are tough, we weather and survive them, and we live for the moments in between when the sun breaks through and the rainbow acts as a beacon reminding us of God’s promise.

God has promised to equip and sustain us always, and especially in this season. When I look back in my prayer journal and what God has been doing the last year, I see this reminder constantly. He’s been telling me for a long time that He’s got this. Our job is to hang on to that promise even when the storm and the clouds block everything else.**

The rainbow moments make everything worth it. The day we took our kids to the park and had a picnic and played soccer with the boys was wonderful. The day we took them all to the beach and enjoyed the crash of the waves and the breeze off the ocean was magical. Seeing Wonder Woman’s first smile was healing. These are our rainbows. We aren’t given great day after great day. We didn’t have that before we adopted, and I’d say that’s true for everyone reading this blog. But even with those tough days, even with days that feel like we’re falling apart, life can still be sunshine and rainbows.

In fact, the friends and family following our journey have become a rainbow themselves. Anytime I post a picture of our Wonder Woman I get so many comments of encouragement that it overwhelms me in the best way. Sometimes I try to respond to all of the comments, and other times I am incapable of doing so, but still I read each and every one, usually multiple times, to be reminded of the wonderful support holding us up in prayer. Thank you for being a rainbow.

With this rainbow seeking attitude in mind, I’ve created Wonder Woman’s Rainbow List. We have to be intentional about our time as a family and the time we have with her, however long God allows it to be. We have to look for the rainbow and dig our heels in during the storm to wait it out for the inevitable and promised sunshine. So instead of a bucket list, it’s a rainbow list. Here’s what we’ve got so far.

Go to Disney World

Fly a kite

Go to the beach

Dip toes in the ocean

Go swimming

Take a bubble bath

Play with bubbles

Make a snow angel

See the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center

Go camping

Catch lightning bugs

Get ears pierced

Have a tea party

Have a princess party/ be princess for a day

Have mom paint nails

Mani/Pedi day with mom

Father/daughter dance

New easter dress

Pictures with Santa

Meet all grandparents

Fly in an airplane

Ride on a boat

Play in the rain

Finger paint

Bake cookies

Dye Easter eggs

Visit mom/dad at work

Pick wildflowers

Eat ice cream

Eat birthday cake

Play on a playground

Slide/sled down a hill

Pick fresh fruit

Lay in the grass under the sun

Climb a tree

Ride a bike

See a live concert

Rainbow List

We’re already off to a great start. I am excited to spend more days intentionally enjoying each moment as a family. I know that every item on the list of these can be done in Wonder Woman’s own unique, adapted way, and I look forward to making these childhood memories together.

**I found these verses written in my prayer journal 11 days before Wonder Woman was born:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in You will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

Faithful is He who calls you, and He will also bring it to pass. 1 Thessalonians 5:24

He’s still got a lot of work to do in me, but I am thankful for a God with endless patience.

Medical Update:

Wonder Woman has recovered extremely well from her shunt surgery. The pressure in her head was relieved and there was a noticeable difference in her level of alertness, fussiness, and reflux. However, after the surgery, the volume she was able to eat by mouth declined significantly. We decided to place an NG feeding tube so that we could ensure that her nutrition needs are being met. Since that placement her weight has gone up and we are seeing even more alertness and less fussiness. She’s also made progress with her PT and has begun focusing more on toys held in her view, tracking them, responding/turning to sound, and even physically reacting to toys (she moves her arms, which is the beginning step of reaching). Because of the 2 procedures (the tube was nonsurgical), we’ve been admitted to the hospital two months in a row. Hopefully the feeding tube will help us find stable ground for a while, but either way, it’s one step at a time.

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